Friday, March 31, 2006
Hug O' War
Things are going well overall. Challenging but well.
My relationships are getting better, and yes sometimes that means more challenging in the process.
I plan on a back workout today. Jogging tomorrow and Sunday. Tomorrow should be interesting. I'll try to go out tonight, jog for 3 hours tomorrow, then go the March downtown! What a day!
My chiropractor said I'm looking like I lost weight. That's cool! And Smacking said I look good! Very nice.
My car stalled and we were waiting for a tow-truck for about an hour before it started again. It was cool to just sit and talk. I like her tons. Its cool, and interesting, that we are closer friends now that she lives far away.
I'm reading another book, it's call Authentic Happiness, by Seligman. www.authentichappiness.org is the website I think.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Info on Immigrant Rights
Here's some more info nation-wide
Buddha Quote 3/30/06
Oh, and tomorrow is my sister-in-law's birthday!
Happy BIRTHDAY MB!!!!!
Star Wars Personality
I'm always amazed by my kiddos (son, daughter, nephew) ability to play and do a great job!
Having interesting conversations about relationships with people, in person, by email, and with people I have important relationships with. Like I said in a previous post, it's exciting to be me. It's tiring though and I'm feeling that right now.
I might workout tonight if that makes sense.
I'm noticing that I'm looking different - it's about time!!!! LOL!!!
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
problems with the blog
I'll be trying to figure it out.
* * *
Spent about an hour in a red, convertable mustang with Smacking yesterday!!! More on that later...
The mental diet is a challenge, but I'm actually doing alright. I can say what I'm feeling without holding it too much.
I started reading some of the curriculum for the positive psychology class from Harvard. There's some great stuff there.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
I still have stuff going on on my left side. A more metaphysically inclined friend said that the left is the giving side, and its weak because I give more than I take. I'm starting t think she's correct. I'm noticing where people lean on me more than I lean on them. Its like people dump at me all the time, but cut me off when I start.
Overall things are good. There are some challenges in my life. I was hoping to have more support around figuring them out, but because it looks like a long-term challenge it seems that I'll have to rotate who I try to lean on because it looks like it would be easy to burn someone out. Funny, or not, but I'm noticing where I'm willing to go through lots more hell to help people out than they are me - I guess I'm a little heartbroken there.
Needless to say, the 10 day mental diet is back at day one! But I plan on taking care of the internal temple as much as the external. Its like the days when I think my workouts are not helping, I'm at that point with this mental workout stuff also. But I'm sure in a year from now, I'll be a much happier and centered MoFo.
KEEP LIFTING CABRONES!!!
Smacking, where are you?
Monday, March 27, 2006
3/27/06 Personal Update
The song that came to mind was the one that reminds me of how I used to spend a lot of time thinking - "I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real...." Hurt - from Johnny Cash's American IV album. I think it is originally a Nine Inch Nails song. So I spent a lot of time pushing my brain the other way, and the habit of thinking negative seems to be trying to take back over. So needless to say, its back to the 10 day mental diet from scratch!
Machi gave me this link
http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2006/03/10/harvards_crowded_course_to_happiness/ on Harvard's course on happiness.
Looks like a good article.
3/17/06 workout update
I felt like I was jogging too slow, so I did a 12 minute mile after having been jogging for an hour. It kicked my butt! I'm not hurting as bad as I had been before. I think the next couple of weeks will be alright.
Friday, March 24, 2006
What a good week! I'm doing my back workout today! I'll be running this weekend - I'm on long runs now. Exciting and a little scary.
I have been feeling much better overall. What I would like to get to is being motivated again at work. I'm good at certain parts of it, probably all of it. But I'm not feeling it, if you know what I mean. Hopefully I don't need another job. I'd like to stay in this one until my kids finish school. That way I'm close by for situations that come up.
But I would like to make more money. And there's not much chance of that here. A few of us are applying to replace our manager here, but someone's already been selected from the team for interim. I don't want the extra headache, but I would deal with it for the money. Our last supervisor was really into being semi-democratic, I see our potential new manager as much less democratic. That's too bad.
I've been working on a second mortgage. It's a hassle because I got the house through a low income program, so I just realized that the City has a 3rd mortgage and we'll have to buy them out to get a consolidation loan. Ugh, what a hassle, but it will be worth it.
I really want to have my finances in control, and part of that will be making more money, saving/investing, and then paying off as much debt as possible.
The mental diet is going well. Not perfect. I can't listen to Johnny Cash sing "Hurt" without getting all jacked up. So I'll make me some happy CDs to keep me pumped up.
I had a kick as session this past weekend. And I'm set up with sessions for the next week. Working on consciously feeling better is working.
We had a meeting at my house last night. It was the best freakin' meeting I had been to. We got some work done, and played around the whole time. We were throwing beanie babies while people were planning, giving reports, and networking. We started with an exercise where you get a paper with someone's name on it, and you write some nice things about them. Then you pass it around until everyone has written something (except the person who's name is on it). Then you read it.
Afterwards I did some wrestling. That was fun as hell! I realized how strong I was! I was holding back, and I'm sure the two people wrestling me didn't go full out either, or if they did, then I'm hella strong! But knowing that I could lift someone so easily was really fun. My confidence also shot up a bit.
I joked with the kids afterward. Its interesting the ruts we get into and when someone else comes from the outside it can make things more fun. (Of course some people could make things less fun too!)
My nephew is still living with us. My nieces are thinking of moving out of state. It sucks that my sister is having all of these problems with her kids. I'm just doing my best to be there for everyone.
In thinking about taking care of me I realize that people will be uncomfortable, but as I've been told - I deserve to be happy too! I'm gonna give it time. I don't want to make any decisions that might just be the "midlife crisis" crap.
My papelito said:
-A leader, good father, and someone I respect greatly
-You're a great influence in my life and have helped me grow in many ways
-Leader, smart, good father
-Knowlegdeable, committed, sense of humor
-You're smart, wise, creative & talented
-You help me think about taking care of myself by example
-You've raised amazing revolutionaries & given them space to grow at their own pace, sticking by their side to help as needed
-You are a good friend, loving spouse and father
-Well spoken, thoughtful, committed
-Understanding; Always there 4 me
How awesome is THAT!
Listened to Elvis, Tracy Chapman, Charlie Parker, Metallica, Hank Williams, and now listening to Dwight Yoakum's "Guitars, Cadillacs". What a station! Doh!!! Just got asked to turn down the radio!!! Another reason to look for a new job. Office life is just getting to me.
KEEP LIFTING CABRONES!!!
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Role-Modeling Through Movies?
So I'd like to ask you who your favorite movie character is and why? Is there a favorite scene? What is it about that scene? (You can post or send an email)
(You could also do these answers for female characters as well, since I'll probably do a group with young women at some point in the future.)
What I'll do is take scenes and put them into a working video and see how it works for me, if its helpful, then I'll share it with the young people and see how it works for them. I'd make different videos for males and females.
You could also give examples by particular emotions/characteristics such as
For those of you that know me, or think you know me, what do YOU think?
***Your Birthdate: November 22***
You tend to be understated and under appreciated.
You have a hidden force to do amazing things, doing them your own way.
People may see you as strange and shy, but they know little.
Your unconventional ways have more power than they (and even you) know.
Your strength: Standing up for what you know is true
Your weakness: You tend to be picky and rigid
Your power color: Silver
Your power symbol: Square
Your power month: April
What Does Your Birth Date Mean?
In the meantime I use the week to heal up and get ready for the weekend runs. I'll be up to two hours this weekend!!!
Things are hectic, but overall things are great. I think I'm starting to learn how to let myself feel loved. Apparently in high school I was emotionally aloof. It's very weird to be reclaiming the full range of emotions. My range for a long time has been - semi-happy, depressed, pissed-off, discouraged, pleased, etc... Except for angry or sad I had been living within a middle-range. I wouldn't go too happy, excited, etc. But it' nice to get that back!
I'm realizing that this week makes 15 months of consistent lifting. Let's see what I look like in May!!!!
Oh, an interesting story
Girl Missing Returns Home
This is inspiring to me because we found my 35 year old brother; y wife found her Mom after 30 years of no contact; it gives me hope that things that appear to have disappeared may actually still be around.
At the workshop I went to in Minnesota a woman friend was telling me about a man who was in love with her since she was 8 years old and hadn't seen her since she was 16, found her and they are starting up a relationship. That reminds me that there really are good possibilities in life.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
OK, I'm actually starting to buy that idea! And that in and of itself is exciting.
Had a great workout on Monday. My chest and triceps are SORE! Listening to "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" - the Guns N Roses version, and just noticing how good my life actually is. I looked in the mirror this morning and noticed that the shadows fall differently on my stomach. I'm still fat, but it looks like my ribs may become visible soon! The beer gut is trying hard to stay, but its on its way out. I think I was 99% sure about my physical goals before, but I'm at 99.9% and getting closer to completely confident!
My diet continues to improve. I get beer cravings every once in awhile, but overall I'm doing well with that. Luckily I have Sanford and Son on DVD so I can still not watch commercial TV, but get a laugh in.
My mental diet is going OK. I can't tell if I'm being too tough on myself - more than one of you have pointed out that I am REALLY hard on myself. So I haven't gotten to wiped out, but I don't think I've gotten more than a couple of days in. I'm starting again today! (Now Jimi Hendrix is playing "Johnny B. Goode"!!!)
Someone sent me an email saying how I put a smile on their face. Someone that I don't know that well. And I realized that I am valuable in the world. Then I started thinking of people who tell me I inspire them, or it is because of me that they are doing something different, and other such things. Things that before I would have laughed off as nonsense. Funny, no? So I'm smiling my butt off and actually feeling good.
Wow, last night we just messed around and sang "Mercedes Benz" and now its on my internet radio! "Prove that you love me and buy the next round... So Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz" How funny!
There are somethings in life that I gave up on early. I'm reclaiming some of them. I think this quote will help me along the way.
"It's always too early to quit." - Norman Vincent Peale
Thanks to BillyBoydFan for the quote!!!!
Herman Jr. from AltaVista Recording studio wants to check out the kid's band and get something together for June! How exciting is THAT!!!!
If life was any better, I'd probably freak out! LOL!
Monday, March 20, 2006
Iraq War Veteran on KUNM 3/20/06
Tonight, KUNM 89.9 at 8:00PM Interview with Iraq War Veteran Tony Garcia
Please tune-in to KUNM 89.9 TONIGHT, Monday, March 20th, from 8:00PM to 8:30PM for a half-hour interview with Anthony Garcia of Albuquerque on "Espejos de Aztlan." Anthony is a 24-year old former Marine who served in Iraq for seven months at the start of the war. He spoke at Saturday's anti-war march and rally in front of over 1,000 protesters about his personal experience in Iraq and decision to become an activist against the war which began 3-years ago this past Sunday.
Espejos de Aztlan has been on-air since 1979 and is part of the Raices Colectiva which conducts programming on news, culture and music from a Latino perspective on KUNM 89.9. For more information about the show, or to suggest questions for tonight's guest / submit feedback, please contact Javier Benavidez at email@example.com.
Routines and Fortune Cookies
My routine is to do a cleansing breath exercise while I drive to the track. Then I walk one lap and think about things I am grateful for. Then I start running. If I'm feeling good already, I start to think of my goals and what I can do to move toward a particular goal for awhile. Then I spend the rest of the time telling myself things like, "I deserve to be happy," or "All I need is within me now." If I wasn't feeling good before this usually does the trick and I can focus on things that I'm grateful for before the end of the run.
If no one is at the track, I can say all of this out loud, otherwise I say them quietly to myself, but still so I can hear it.
So I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with life. But life is actually very exciting in lots of ways. I'm pushing myself physically, mentally, and emotionally. My two current sayings to myself are "I solemnly promise that from this moment on I will never again settle for anything less than everything!" It's ambitious but it counteracts my life history of settling for second or third best. The other one is "It's exciting to be me right now!"
Anyway, today is bench day. I'm gonna be repping with 150lbs. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to bench 200 by the time my b-day comes around. Even while losing weight.
Friday was a good back workout. I haven't made it sore yet, but that's OK. From what people tell me, my back looks pretty good. I have this thing where I look at myself and I still see the fat, outta shape guy from the first picture.
I ran Saturday and Sunday. I'm not very religious, but I am planning to run from the South Valley to Tome hill for Good Friday. So Saturday I jogged an hour, and Sunday 90 minutes. My leg is doing better this week than last week. Still a little sore but definitely not as bad as last week.
There's lots of thoughts I'd like to post, but since people who know my life are reading this. I'll just stick to this. My life will look radically different in 5-10 years. There are some goals that I have that I am pulling in all of my mental resources to that should alter my personality to some extent.
What I can say, is that I'm helping some people in my life heal. I get worried that once they are healed they won't want me around any more. It's OK, I don't want them dependent on me - I'd like people to WANT me around, but I don't want anyone to feel obligated and I don't want to feel like I'm living life out of obligation. (I've done enough of THAT!) LOL!
It's also interesting that one friend also is worried that if I change too much I won't need my friend either. I think on one level I don't NEED anyone in particular, I know that intellectually. A regular reader told me once that I'm good at figuring out getting what I need from relationships and letting go of ones that don't help. I think he's correct. But there are people and things that I WANT. Those I'll keep.
Father Loses Taste for Revenge in Iraq
TIPS FROM REALAGE.COM
Turn to the Dark Side
Is your olive oil in an opaque bottle? If not, it may be quickly losing some of its ability to protect your blood vessels.
According to a recent study, antioxidants in virgin olive oil help relax blood vessels and improve circulation, which may lower people's risk of atherosclerosis and cardiovascular disease. However, the antioxidant value of olive oil can degrade after only a few months of exposure to heat and light. Store your olive oil in an opaque cruet and in a cool place.
RealAge Benefit: Eating a low-fat diet -- and eating healthful unsaturated fats when you do eat fat -- can make your RealAge as much as 6 years younger.
A Little Goes A Long Way
Instead of skipping strength training when short on time, just do a little bit. You'll still enjoy impressive health benefits.
Although more sets can mean bigger strength gains, don't miss out on the benefits you can reap by completing fewer sets when time is tight. In a study, people over the age of 65 who twice a week performed a single set of strength-training exercises targeting major muscle groups experienced gains in both strength and physical performance.
RealAge Benefit: Strength training can make your RealAge 1 year younger.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Hopefully my siblings and in-laws remember that too!
The other part of it was him telling me what a good and caring father I am. And I have to say thanks. I've done a good job at letting my kids know I love them by word and action. I'm still getting used to accepting compliments, but I hope I did a good job accepting that one.
One thing I've done is to start a list of things that make me happy quickly. Since part of my point in this blog is inspiring and assisting others I think I should share mine.
listening to music - certain songs make me happy immediately
moving differently - acting as if I'm happy, excited, silly, etc.
singing along with music
hugging the kids
hugging and kissing my wife
vividly remembering wonderful experiences
letting myself feel loved (still practicing this one)
hugging and kissing loved ones
telling funny stories
listening to funny jokes
having lunch with good people
remembering good moments
watching someone smile
listening to loving voices
getting stuff off my chest
openly loving others
being in contact with people I care about
My goal is to keep increasing the list, but it's pretty chingon as is, que no?
I am getting my food diet back together. And I'm working on this mental diet thing. The only thing I disagree with Emmet Fox on is the idea of taking a few days in between tries. I'm gonna keep trying and get right back on track as soon as I can. I think I'm doing OK today.
The kids are always fun and challenging. ALL of them! I basically see my nieces and nephews as my kids too, but I know I'm not perfect. I also don't think all of my sisters and brothers do that also. That's a little tough.
So here's Tony Robbins challenge:
"For the next ten days, beginning immediately, commit to taking full control of all your mental and emotional faculties by deciding right now that you will not indulge in or dwell on any unresourceful thoughts or emotions for ten consecutive days."
We'll see if this Chicano dad can live up to THAT!!! (I'm guessing it will take a couple of tries - but its lent, this is a great time to do it!)
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
3/15/06 10 Day Challenge
The idea is to stay positive as possible for 10 days. Anytime you start to feel some form of negative emotion you do something that brings you out of that and back to a positive state. If you get stuck in a bad state for 2 or more minutes you start over. I'm usually emotionally neutral, but was able to keep from getting really angry or bumbed out for about 5 days.
I'm starting round two!
Wish me luck!!!
One of my kids is having some issues with school so I'm off to see what's going on! Yippeee for cortisol!(see yesterday's post)
Overall though, I'm feeling pretty good. My shoulder still feels funny sometimes but not always, and my left shin is irritated - from the running most likely. So for leg workouts I'm cutting out calf raises for now.
Hope everyone has a GRRRRREAT (Tony the Tiger style) Day!
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
I've had good workouts. I think that one of my issues is the cortisol from all of the random stress in my life these days.
Overall, I'm in a better mood, but things are definately tough!
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
30 Minutes to a Better Mood
Research shows that regular exercise helps alleviate depression and improve well-being over the long term. Now a new study suggests that the mood-enhancing benefits of physical activity may be apparent after a single 30-minute workout. The next time you feel down, grab your gym shoes and give yourself the gift of a 30-minute power walk.
RealAge Benefit: Exercising regularly can make your RealAge as much as 9 years younger.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
I'm jogging for 30 minutes now. I don't know how far I go, I just do it by time. I'm trying to get past jogging to actual running. I run for short periods within the 30, but not running for the full 30 yet. Soon though!
I run at Highland High School on Saturday and Sunday mornings. No set time, around 8-10 depending on what time I get up.