Friday, March 24, 2006
What a good week! I'm doing my back workout today! I'll be running this weekend - I'm on long runs now. Exciting and a little scary.
I have been feeling much better overall. What I would like to get to is being motivated again at work. I'm good at certain parts of it, probably all of it. But I'm not feeling it, if you know what I mean. Hopefully I don't need another job. I'd like to stay in this one until my kids finish school. That way I'm close by for situations that come up.
But I would like to make more money. And there's not much chance of that here. A few of us are applying to replace our manager here, but someone's already been selected from the team for interim. I don't want the extra headache, but I would deal with it for the money. Our last supervisor was really into being semi-democratic, I see our potential new manager as much less democratic. That's too bad.
I've been working on a second mortgage. It's a hassle because I got the house through a low income program, so I just realized that the City has a 3rd mortgage and we'll have to buy them out to get a consolidation loan. Ugh, what a hassle, but it will be worth it.
I really want to have my finances in control, and part of that will be making more money, saving/investing, and then paying off as much debt as possible.
The mental diet is going well. Not perfect. I can't listen to Johnny Cash sing "Hurt" without getting all jacked up. So I'll make me some happy CDs to keep me pumped up.
I had a kick as session this past weekend. And I'm set up with sessions for the next week. Working on consciously feeling better is working.
We had a meeting at my house last night. It was the best freakin' meeting I had been to. We got some work done, and played around the whole time. We were throwing beanie babies while people were planning, giving reports, and networking. We started with an exercise where you get a paper with someone's name on it, and you write some nice things about them. Then you pass it around until everyone has written something (except the person who's name is on it). Then you read it.
Afterwards I did some wrestling. That was fun as hell! I realized how strong I was! I was holding back, and I'm sure the two people wrestling me didn't go full out either, or if they did, then I'm hella strong! But knowing that I could lift someone so easily was really fun. My confidence also shot up a bit.
I joked with the kids afterward. Its interesting the ruts we get into and when someone else comes from the outside it can make things more fun. (Of course some people could make things less fun too!)
My nephew is still living with us. My nieces are thinking of moving out of state. It sucks that my sister is having all of these problems with her kids. I'm just doing my best to be there for everyone.
In thinking about taking care of me I realize that people will be uncomfortable, but as I've been told - I deserve to be happy too! I'm gonna give it time. I don't want to make any decisions that might just be the "midlife crisis" crap.
My papelito said:
-A leader, good father, and someone I respect greatly
-You're a great influence in my life and have helped me grow in many ways
-Leader, smart, good father
-Knowlegdeable, committed, sense of humor
-You're smart, wise, creative & talented
-You help me think about taking care of myself by example
-You've raised amazing revolutionaries & given them space to grow at their own pace, sticking by their side to help as needed
-You are a good friend, loving spouse and father
-Well spoken, thoughtful, committed
-Understanding; Always there 4 me
How awesome is THAT!
Listened to Elvis, Tracy Chapman, Charlie Parker, Metallica, Hank Williams, and now listening to Dwight Yoakum's "Guitars, Cadillacs". What a station! Doh!!! Just got asked to turn down the radio!!! Another reason to look for a new job. Office life is just getting to me.
KEEP LIFTING CABRONES!!!