Monday, March 20, 2006
So I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with life. But life is actually very exciting in lots of ways. I'm pushing myself physically, mentally, and emotionally. My two current sayings to myself are "I solemnly promise that from this moment on I will never again settle for anything less than everything!" It's ambitious but it counteracts my life history of settling for second or third best. The other one is "It's exciting to be me right now!"
Anyway, today is bench day. I'm gonna be repping with 150lbs. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to bench 200 by the time my b-day comes around. Even while losing weight.
Friday was a good back workout. I haven't made it sore yet, but that's OK. From what people tell me, my back looks pretty good. I have this thing where I look at myself and I still see the fat, outta shape guy from the first picture.
I ran Saturday and Sunday. I'm not very religious, but I am planning to run from the South Valley to Tome hill for Good Friday. So Saturday I jogged an hour, and Sunday 90 minutes. My leg is doing better this week than last week. Still a little sore but definitely not as bad as last week.
There's lots of thoughts I'd like to post, but since people who know my life are reading this. I'll just stick to this. My life will look radically different in 5-10 years. There are some goals that I have that I am pulling in all of my mental resources to that should alter my personality to some extent.
What I can say, is that I'm helping some people in my life heal. I get worried that once they are healed they won't want me around any more. It's OK, I don't want them dependent on me - I'd like people to WANT me around, but I don't want anyone to feel obligated and I don't want to feel like I'm living life out of obligation. (I've done enough of THAT!) LOL!
It's also interesting that one friend also is worried that if I change too much I won't need my friend either. I think on one level I don't NEED anyone in particular, I know that intellectually. A regular reader told me once that I'm good at figuring out getting what I need from relationships and letting go of ones that don't help. I think he's correct. But there are people and things that I WANT. Those I'll keep.
Father Loses Taste for Revenge in Iraq
TIPS FROM REALAGE.COM
Turn to the Dark Side
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A Little Goes A Long Way
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