Wednesday, July 15, 2009
My back and leg pain sucks. The pain of working out was therapeutic. Gotta figure out some way to get to that without damaging myself. Tattoos also worked that way for me. Something about focusing on the pain of the needles seemed to lift my mood for a good period of time. I think it is something like hitting something for me, but since hitting isn't a good thing these take that place... Part of it is just overcoming the challenge. I know I enjoy overcoming problems and challenges.
So I'm up to working out with 135 for Squats and Bench. I haven't started Deadlifting yet. I'm still worried that will pop something, but I may see what just the weight of the bar feels like.
I had a good talk with a doctor friend and she pointed out that if I have a back pain or difficulty walking that doctors were not going to be very helpful. I couldn't even get much help with dealing with something simple like skin tags (those little skin things that grow randomly).
Anyway, while I was lifting a couple of weeks ago, still just going with what I feel like doing I realized something. That's how I started lifting awhile back. Just some here and there. Then I bought a weightlifting magazine. Sure the guys are on steroids and super low body fat, but there was something about the accomplishment that was inspiring.
So I convinced myself that I could be "buff." That set me in motion to start tracking my workouts and then my diet. After a while I lost some fat and gained some muscle. Then I found a natural body building magazine where the guys are not full of steroids, but did get to super low body fat. I thought wow. That is more doable. (That and my family was "you wanna look like THAT freak?")
So I kept going. I got to where I knew my 4, 8, 12, or 16 week plan. Then I got to where I had a good idea what I was going to do for the following cycle. Then it hit me.
I like beer, chili dogs, tamales, and lots of other stuff like that. So I probably would not get to super low body fat any time soon. I decided to go for strength. I read somewhere that muscle from strength lasts longer than muscle from body building style lifting. So I switched to a combination style. I also had my cycles figured out a year ahead.
So I had good planning. I knew what I was going for. And I believed that I could do it.
Then I did this funky thing to my back. Then I stopped lifting all together because doctors are lame. Then I started lifting again very light and it didn't even feel like I was working out. Then I started going to what was light for me before. Now it feels like a workout.
But I still lift randomly. When I had a plan I did it even when I wasn't in the mood. And I saw the gains - more in the amount I moved than my body. So it is time to get back to it. It may take me a couple of years to get all the way back, but my goal is to bench between 250 and 300 for my 45th birthday. Squat 360 too! The deadlift is the only one I'm not sure about, but I will work on it and see where I am in a year.
I think over the year of not lifting my gut got way bigger and my arms a little smaller. I'm not that concerned with my size anymore, but know I need to lose some weight so the proportion of arms to pansa (gut) is my main measure.
So here I go again. I was working out with 225 for benching and 315 for squats so I know that my muscles can do it. I'm going to have to do lots more stretching and yoga type stuff to keep it together for the next round. Then walk as much as I can.
The interesting thing is that I think this also goes for organizing work. We don't feel like we're going to actually "win" or gain the things the community needs so we just do things as they come up. We justify this with this as a resistance to the corporate structure, or western world view. This works against us. So I tried getting really detailed at work for a week. And it gave good results. And like lifting it is easy to fall back into "flexibility." So I'll try again there too!
Wish me luck and here we go!