Thursday, April 13, 2006
One of them called me after reading the "blogito" and said his prayers would be with me tomorrow as he walks to Santuario, and I run to the bottom of Tomé hill.
So there's definately some big pain running through my veins these days. But homie reminded me that I'm a Warrior. That I continue even when I don't want to. That I survive, that I take care of others. And that as I continue to take care of myself I'll figure out other things.
Having survived a tough upbringing - "broken" family; substance abuse; missing tons of school (I went to 5 high schools, one twice!); lots of violence and death around; funky relationships, and all of that good stuff - I know I'll get through the "Dark at the End of the Tunnel" (Oingo Boingo reference).
Part of tomorrow for me is completing something difficult. For myself and for those around me. Not to prove to them, but to myself. Homie said, I don't need to prove anything to anyone, I've already proven enough.
So if you're reading this, I may be running for you. But mostly I'm running for myself. To find the strength to make a real commitment to make myself happy.
It's also my Jefito's birthday tomorrow (DEP).
Songs usually say things I think and feel - actually I just express myself that way better.
"Por tu amor que tanto quiero y tanto extraño... Si te dicen que me vieron muy borracho, orgullosamente diles que es por tí."
"...Everyone I know goes away in the end...My sweetest friend, what have I become?"
"Did you trade your wishes for ghosts...How, how I wish you were here..."
"...If you don't understand him, and he don't die young, he'll probably just ride away...They're never home, and they're always alone, even with someone they love..."
"Yo se bien que estoy afuera...Tambien me dijo un arriero que no hay que llegar primero, pero hay que saber llegar"
"Will I live tomorrow, I just don't know. But I know I don't live today..."
The tunnels have mostly been shorter than they appear. As down as this post may sound to some, I know I'll come out the other end much stronger than I am now. My inner Warrior has always stepped up when I really needed him.
KEEP LIFTING, KEEP RUNNING
Muchos cariños, besos y suerte. Mereces todo lo bueno en esta vida y mas.
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